Driving and Other Mishaps
by Snapegirlkmf
Summary: First driving lessons for Belle and first vaccinations for Killian make up more little mishaps for the Gold family. Mishap verse, small companion piece to A Second Little Mishap! Swanfire, Rumbelle.


~ Driving and Other Mishaps ~

By Snapegirlkmf & CJ Moliere

**Authors Notes: This one shot was prompted by a friend of ours who wanted to see Belle getting driving lessons and Killian have to have his shots for school. Enjoy! Takes place after A Second Little Mishap **

_Early March, Storybrooke, Maine:_

Now that she was married and responsible for a household of two people, and maybe more when she became pregnant, Belle Gold decided that she needed to learn how to drive, because even in a sleepy town like Storybrooke you couldn't walk everywhere and she didn't like being so dependent upon her husband to take her everywhere and pick her up. She wanted the ability to come and go as she pleased.

So she decided to ask Rumple to give her driving lessons so she could pass her driver's test and get her license.

She was sure she could learn how to drive, after all everyone else she knew could, even if they had learned as part of a curse. She was smart and picked up things quickly. How hard could it be?

As it turned out, it was rather difficult, at least for her. Driving a car was not like riding a horse and she could do that well but the moment she got behind the wheel, she was terrified.

"The important thing to remember, dearie is you control the car, it doesn't control you. Now...go ahead and start it. Turn the key like this," Rumple said, demonstrating.

She turned it a bit too far and the car made a loud screeching noise.

"No, no Belle...not that far...it'll ruin the engine."

"I'm sorry..."

"It's all right. Now I need you to put your foot on the brakes...it's the pedal down there..." he said, pointing to the floor.

He went on to explain what each of the controls were and how to use them. Belle was confused. There were so many of them and she was trying to remember which one of them controlled what. He had her practice a few times with them as the driving instructor would have her do when she went to pass her test.

"All right...we're going to try to go down the street a bit...let's put the car in drive...over to the letter D."

When she shifted the gears, she put it in reverse instead and as soon as she lifted her foot off the brake and put it on the gas pedal, the car went backwards...and crashed right into Rumple's mailbox.

"Oh no! Rumple, I'm so sorry!" she cried.

"It's all right, dearie...you just had the gear over a bit too far...R goes backwards, D is forward."

The mailbox was tilted like a crazy lamppost and suddenly they heard mocking laughter from the sidewalk as Sapphira was coming home from school and happened to see Belle smash the Cadillac into it.

"Somebody needs to get glasses...or learn how to drive!" she taunted.

Rumple craned his head through the passenger window and snapped, "Somebody else better learn to mind her own business, dearie, or else I'm going to give her a lesson in manners she won't forget!"

"Ooooh I'm reaaallly scared. That bookworm'll never drive right."

Belle was beginning to fear she was right.

"Says someone who can't even drive a Power Wheels car," snorted Rumple. "So what do you know?"

"I know more n'you demon spawn!" she hissed.

"Demon spawn, eh?" the sorcerer rolled his eyes. "Now that's real original. Why don't you go and do your homework before you fail first grade?"

"Why don't you pucker up and kiss my butt!"

"Not interested, dearie. Go find someone your own age."

She blew a raspberry and went into the house.

Rumple turned back to Belle. "Now that we have no more nuisances to interrupt us . . .put the car into Drive, sweetheart and we can stop making the mailbox go crooked."

"All right..." She shifted the gear until it was on the letter D and slowly took her foot off the brake.

"Good. Now just give it a little gas, not too much."

She tried...tried to follow his instructions but she pushed down hard on the pedal and the car lurched forward.

"Whoa!" Rumple yelped. "Belle, brake, dearie! Brake!"

She put her foot on the brake and the car came to an abrupt stop.

Rumple almost got whiplash. "Okay . . .umm . . .you're getting there. Slowly, but you're getting there."

"You don't have to be nice...I'm terrible at this!"

Rumple put a hand comfortingly on her shoulder. "Dearie, everyone's awful when they first learn something. Did I ever tell you how awful I was at spinning the first time I tried it? I tangled up my whole thread and cut my finger trying to make the wool go around." he told her earnestly. "And when you learned how to read, could you read a book right off the bat?"

"No, I struggled a bit but this is not like learning to read, Rumple."

"No . . .but it's the same process, first you make mistakes and then you figure out where you went wrong and correct it. It just takes a little longer than you thought."

"Now what do I do?"

"You're a little tense, so I think you need to relax a bit," Rumple observed. "I want you to put the car into park and turn it off. Then just sit here and practice touching your foot to the brake and then the accelerator. So you get used to it."

"All right," she sighed. She was still having a bit of trouble controlling her foot and pushing down on both pedals too far.

She knew she would have to stop doing that or she would end up crashing into the mailbox again...or something else.

Rumple sat calmly and watched her practice, offering minor corrections. "Don't stomp on it, dearie, you're not killing spiders," he smirked, his eyes twinkling.

"But it'll go even if I tap it a bit?"

"Yes, just a little tap. The car is actually pretty sensitive." He patted the door of his car lovingly. "Right, old girl?"

"I don't want to wreck it."

"You won't. I have faith in you."

She smiled faintly.

"Can I try again to try to drive it a bit?"

"Yes. Turn it over and then I want you to back up slowly," he instructed patiently.

Belle turned the car over and went to put her foot on the accelerator.

"No, foot on the brake first, remember?" Rumple corrected. "You don't want to go flying across the street, now do you?"

"Oh, right!" Belle coughed, feeling like an idiot. "Umm, okay. Brake," she put her foot on the brake, more gently this time. "That's good! Now, umm, I put the car into Reverse . .. " she did so, concentrating hard.

Rumple nodded. 'Very good." He loved the little furrow she got when she was thinking hard in between her eyes.

"Now, put your foot down gently . .. "

"Gently." She barely touched the pedal. The car did nothing.

"A bit more, dearie," encouraged her husband.

Belle put her foot down harder. The car lurched backwards.

"Oops! Uh . . .Rumple . . .how do I stop?"

"You put your foot on the brake again. But let's back up a little more."

"Okay . . ." she backed up till she was almost at the end of the driveway.

"Good job! Now stop."

Belle forgot her foot was still on the accelerator. She pressed down HARD.

"Belle! Stop! Stop!"

The car swerved and shot across the driveway, right towards Belle's prize row of English and American Beauty roses. The left back tire of the Cadillac jumped over the row of white stones and ran right over the rose bushes.

"Rumple! Help!" Belle cried, panicked. "I . . .I can't stop!"

"The brake, dearie! Take your foot off the gas and put it on the brake!"

Rumple watched and groaned as the car ran over two other rose bushes. Oh, dearie dearie, dear!

Belle stomped down on the brake and the car came to a sudden screeching halt. She was almost in tears. "Oh no! My rose bushes!"

The rose bushes were flattened like pancakes.

"Umm . . .maybe we could use them for potpourri?" Rumple suggested lightly.

"Real funny, Rumple!" Belle snapped, poking him in the arm. "I'm a disaster!"

She burst into tears.

"Hey . . .dearie . . .don't cry . . ." Rumple soothed. He went and put his arm around his wife.

"I can't help it...I wrecked our mailbox...my roses...what will I wreck next? The house?"

Sapphira opened the window and hooted, "Hey, maybe you'd better try out for Crash Test Dummies!"

Belle glared at her.

Rumple did also. "Mind your business, young miss. Before I pay you a visit and give you a lesson in respecting your elders."

The former fairy's taunts were doing little to boost her confidence.

"Don't listen to her, Belle. Anything you run over I can replace."

She hoped she never ran over something he couldn't like a person!

He handed her his monogrammed purple handkerchief. "Here. You just got a little confused, that's all. Okay, let's get back onto the driveway."

"All right...show me what to do."

"Yeah, and you can play Run Over Derby-whoo hoo!" taunted Sapphira. "And see how many lawsuits Gold Gimp has to settle in court for ya!"

_Nasty little beast_, Belle thought angrily.

Gold's eyes flashed. "Don't make me get out of this car, young lady!"

"Ooo I'm sooooo scared..."

"You will be!" the sorcerer growled. "Okay, Belle, put the car into drive and go forward. Turn the wheel a little bit so you can get onto the driveway."

"Okay." She put the car in drive and when she went to turn the wheel, she turned it too far and the car swerved into the other side of the lawn.

"Easy, dearie!" Rumple murmured. "Okay, now back up just a little . . ." Privately he wondered if they were going to need the whole front yard landscaped after this lesson. Maybe he should have taught her down at the school parking lot.

She put the car in reverse and backed up, hearing something crunching under the tires. When she pulled forward she saw one of her lawn gnomes in pieces in the rearview mirror.

Sapphira was out on the porch and she pointed a finger and howled with laughter. "Looky looky it's Gold's Demolition Service! 100 points if ya take out the garage!"

She picked up an apple and threw it at the windshield of the Cadillac. Splat! "That's what I think of your driving, Butthole Bookworm!"

Belle was enraged. She got out of the car, picked up the apple and threw it back over the fence.

Rumple got out too. "That girl needs her backside tanned good!" he snapped angrily.

Sapphira threw another apple that struck Belle in the chest.

"Why, you insolent wicked little brat!" Rumple growled. Then he gave a quick gesture, yanking the girl off the porch with a come-hither spell. "How dare you throw apples at my wife AND my car?"

"Sapphira!" Melanie yelled from the porch.

"You gonna let this gimpy spank me you poor excuse for a Fae?" demanded Sapphira.

Melanie crossed her arms over her chest. "Since it appears I can't seem to get through to you about behaving in a respectful manner to others, maybe he can." She nodded to the angry sorcerer. She was at her wits end with the obnoxious child.

Rumple took the child firmly by the shoulders and said, "First, you apologize to Belle for hitting her with an apple, and for hitting the windshield of my car while she was driving. You could have caused an accident."

"She can't drive worth crap!"

She had no intentions of apologizing to that silly bookworm.

Rumple tapped his foot on the driveway. "Well? I'm waiting!"

"Gonna wait a long time, gimp!"

Rumple wanted to shake her hard. "You know, if you can't even apologize when you've done something wrong, it means you're going to pay tenfold for your mistakes when you're older .. and the price will definitely not be to your liking!"

He was referring to the dagger of the Dark One that waited to claim its new mistress . . if she didn't change her ways.

"You don't scare me!"

"Too bad, dearie, because the fate that waits for you is the stuff of nightmares," Rumple warned her.

"You're all talk!"

Melanie sighed.

"Am I?" scowled the elder sorcerer. "Apologize, young lady! Now!"

"No! Make me!" she challenged.

Rumple set his jaw. "On your own head be it." He couldn't make her apologize, but he could punish her for being a horrible brat. "Very well. If you won't apologize, that means you get two extra swats."

"You love doing this, don't you?"

"Actually, I don't. But sometimes it's the only way to get through to a child's thick head," he told her. "Clearly lectures don't have any impression on you. Nor does appealing to your better nature."

_She doesn't have one,_ Belle thought.

Rumple normally would have some reservations about disciplining a child not in his family, but Melanie had given him permission, and he hoped his swift punishment might have an effect on her before it was too late . . .at the very least it would make her think twice about chucking anything at Belle or his car again.

"This is your last chance. Say you're sorry to Belle at least."

She glared at him. "Nope."

"Don't say I didn't warn you," he replied, then he sat down on the hood of his car and pulled the insolent former fairy across his knee. "Eight swats, Miss Majestrix. And hopefully you learn your lesson about throwing things at my wife and my car when I'm done." He brought his hand down in a smart smack across her backside, using his hand only, but making sure the swat stung like crazy.

Sapphira yelped, not expecting the gimp to know how to smack so hard. "Didn't hurt!" she lied.

Rumple snorted. "You can't fool me, dearie."

He spanked her quickly and firmly, his hand peppering her bottom and thighs with sharp smacks that stung as if he'd taken a switch to her, yet left no marks whatsoever.

Sapphira wailed and kicked in spite of herself. "Owww! Owww! Okaay! M'soorry, Mr. Gold!"

"Too late, dearie," he replied implacably. "You were warned twice. Next time maybe you'll listen, hmm?"

"I HATE you . .. and your idiot wife!" Sapphira stormed, squirming frantically.

Gold responded with another whack. "Maybe you'd better rephrase that, dearie. It's not smart to insult someone when you're in this position."

Sapphira tried to get off his lap. "Noo! Let me go!"

She grabbed his hand and bit down...hard.

"Oww!" he cried. "Bite me, will you?"

He flipped up her skirt and gave her three extra spanks, harder than the previous ones. "Now . . .are you going to bite me again?"

"Noo!" the child bawled. Her bottom stung like fury and she was shocked her former nemesis could give as good as he got.

"Good. At least you've learned something then." He set her back on her feet. "Be good, dearie . . .before you go too far and you've reached the point of no return." He turned her about and said, "Go home, Sapphira. And don't ever throw anything at Belle or my car again, or else!"

She ran into the house and slammed the door.

Gold sighed. "Well, I tried," he said ruefully. He shook his hand, which stung slightly.

"It's not your fault, Rumple, if she chooses to behave horribly," Belle said comfortingly. "It's her choice."

"I know that," he agreed. It was just frustrating to deal with someone so . . .determined to hurl herself to her own destruction.

"All right. Shall we try this again? Third time's the charm."

She finally managed to get the car back onto the driveway and hold the wheel better and he had her drive down the street a bit.

"There! See! You're doing wonderfully now!"

She had a bit more confidence now. He had her drive to the school parking lots where there was a place where students could learn to park between two vehicles.

He summoned two large orange cones. "Okay, now we're going to practice parallel parking."

"Okay...what do I do?"

"Actually, I want you to switch places with me and watch what I do this first time. This can be tricky, so watch me carefully."

They traded places and Rumple showed her how to correctly parallel park a car. Most students had the most trouble with this maneuver. He fully expected the cones to end up squashed.

He explained how she needed to line up the tail end of the car with the first cone and back the car in between that cone and the other as if they were two cars.

Belle listened closely and recalled what Rumple had done the first two times she watched him.

"Now...start backing up...slowly"

Belle did very slowly, looking behind her carefully.

"Start cutting the wheels so you can get the car in sweetheart."

"Okay," she followed his instructions carefully. "Like this."

"A little more or half of the car will be sticking out."

She carefully went back another few inches. "How's that?"

He looked in the mirror. "Now turn the wheel and straighten out a bit."

She did so, finding it easier to do so now that she wasn't afraid of running over things in her yard.

"I did it!" she cheered when she had the car between the two cones.

Rumple smiled at her proudly. "See? You managed the most difficult thing on the first try. You just needed some confidence, Belle. Now let's pull out and do it again."

"Okay."

They practiced for about twenty more minutes, and Rumple taught her K-turns and using signals and then they drove home. Once they arrived there and Belle parked the car, Rumple used his magic to fix the mailbox, the lawn, and the lawn gnome, as well as the rose bushes.

The parking, he knew was the hardest portion of the exam...and also the first portion and if it was completed correctly the final driving position would begin.

He was sure Belle would pass the written exam with no problem and said so. "So we'll just have lessons every day for a few hours till you're ready to go for the road test."

They had just gone inside and were having some lunch when the phone rang. It was Bae, sounding rather exasperated and frazzled. "Bae? What's the matter, dearie?"

"Papa, I'm . . .umm . . having a little problem with Killian."

"What sort of problem? Is he hurt? Sick?"

"No, he's fine. Well, you know how he starts preschool next month?"

"Right, you said that last week."

"Umm . . that's kind of the problem. You see, the school requires all the kids to get these vaccinations for chicken pox, diphtheria, pertussis, measles, and all that."

"Yes. I know. So what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. I made an appointment with a pediatrician for him and when I brought him for the first set, cause they can't do them all at once . . he . . err . . .flipped out. Kicked the nurse, knocked over the tray on the doctor and ran outta the room screaming."

"Ahh . . .that's not good. Did you talk to him?"

"I tried . . but I'm not getting anywhere. I dunno if it's aphobia or what, but he's hiding under the bed and won't come out. I don't know what I should do, Papa. I don't wanna punish him cause he might have something . . .traumatic in his past that makes him behave like that,. but I also can't have him go to school without those shots and risk getting sick or something."

"No you can't," Rumple agreed.

Belle looked at her husband. "Rumple, what's the matter?"

"Hang on, Bae. I'll call you back," Rumple said, and then hung up so he could explain the situation to his wife.

"Oh no! Poor Killian. Maybe we can go over there and coax him out."

The toddler was always more receptive to his Nevenger friends when he was terrified.

"Yes . . .and we can change back later if we can convince him to come out and talk to us." Rumple agreed.

He called Bae back to tell him what their plan was. Then they drove over to Bae and Emma's house. "Let's get small, dearie," Rumple said as they got out of the car and rang the bell. He waved a hand and they were little Rumple and Belle again.

Emma ran to the door and opened it as soon as she saw them. "He's up in his room."

Meanwhile Killian lay under his bed shaking. He wasn't going to have any medical 'speriments done on him like on that guy he saw on the old tv show where they dumped black stuff on him and it crawled into his face.

"C'mon, Belle," Rumple said, and he led the way upstairs, limping a bit on his cane.

Then after the poor guy had the black stuff on him the aliens took him over and one would grow in him too!

_I don't wanna have a nasty ole alien come outta me!_

He unfortunately walked in while Henry was watching The X-Files: Fight The Future with his father. Bae was a fan of the old show and Henry was getting hooked on it as well and they watched the first feature film to learn more of the show's mythology.

One scene did mention an alien coming out of a person's body once it was fully grown and he'd seen several episodes were needles were used in experiments on people.

_They're gonna take us over an make us act worse n'zombies...maybe they were gonna make me an alien too!_

"Hey, Killian! How come you're hidin' under the bed?" called Rumple as he walked into the little boy's room.

"There's aliens Rumple and they're gonna come an get meeee!' he cried.

"Huh?" Rumple sat on the floor and peered under the bed. "What aliens? Like in Toy Story?"

"Noooo...nasty ones! They's look like black goo an they crawl in yer nose an in yer eyes and when they get big they bust outta ya!"

"Yuck!" Rumple wrinkled his nose. "Dearie, that is GROSS!"

"Yeah well it's true...it's part of a 'speriment by the the governmet...an they's all gonna make us part alien!"

"No way, Killian! I'm not bein' no lab rat!" squealed Rumple. He shivered recalling how he almost was with Tamara in the warehouse in Boston.

"Me neither!" Belle shivered.

"You wanna come under here? They can't get ya here."

Rumple crawled under the bed. "So how'd you hear 'bout these 'speriments, dearie? Was it on TV? Like the news?"

"Uh-huh. Dad n' Henry was watchin this show bout some guy an girl who go round bustin aliens and 'sposing governmet lies n stuff."

Rumple shook his little head. "That doesn't sound too good, does it, Belle?"

"Nuh-uh!" she shook her head.

"So how's these aliens get in ya?" he wanted to know.

"They dump the goo on yer face an they crawl in."

"EWWWWW!" Belle screamed.

"Blech!" Rumple made a face. "An' is that why you're hidin' here? Cause these aliens are gonna get ya?"

"Yeah! You dunno WHO they are...they could be EVERYWHERE...even someone ya think ya know!"

"Like . . your family?" Rumple asked in hushed tones.

"Once they had aliens that looked like the one guy's sister an...I think the girl had a coupla alien babies..."

"Think I'm gonna barf!" Rumple moaned.

"M'not havin no nasty alien babies!"

"They takes girls an put em in ya Belle," Killian warned.

"Nobody's puttin' any aliens in her!" Rumple said stoutly. "How do you protect yourself from 'em? Do you know, Killian?"

"Ummm...they's sposta have some shot they give ya but it don't work good."

"Hmm . . . that's probably 'cause they don't have magic to do it right," Rumple said. "An' maybe we need foil hats too like in Signs, so's the aliens can't read our minds."

"Don't work. need some kinda rock called magnasomethin to kill em. They fly in it an die."

"Belle, you know what rock he's talkin' about?"

"Ummm...maybe if he knows more of the word."

"Magna...tit...?"

"That's not right, Killian. You sure it isn't tite?"

"Yeah! That's it! Magnatite...we gotta get some!"

"Umm . . .maybe I can conjure some . . an' we can wear 'em like pendants or something?" Rumple speculated.

"Yeah cause if we don't we're gonna have aliens comin outta us or they're gonna tell us what ta do an it ain't nice...some of em don't even have a face!"

Rumple was horrified. "Faceless ET's! I'm gettin' Scotty t' beam me up to the Enterprise!"

"Ya don't wanna go there either Rumple. What if they's live there too?"

The little pirate poked his head out from under the mattress. He was holding jack and Will. "They's worse than zombies. Zombies just eat brains...these guys..."

"They possess you? Like in The Exorcist?" Rumple guessed.

"Yeah...kinda til they come out your eyes an take over someone else...they do that sometimes. One time there was this mean guy locked in a place with a ship an he made the goo come outta his face!"

"Okay . . .let's see what I can come up with," Rumple said. He cracked his knuckles.

"Good cause less we can we gotta find Mulder n. Scully to bust em!"

"Nah, dearie. We're the Nevengers, we can handle it." He waved his hand and some glowing rocks appeared.

"Hah Ha! Soon as the aliens look at this stuff they'll fly in the wall an DIE!"

They all put the pendants on. Then, just in case they were also mind reading aliens, Rumple conjured some foil cone shaped hats and armed them with water pistols also.

Killian crawled out from under the bed. "Let's kick some alien butt if they come!"

"Now you're talkin' dearie!" Rumple agreed.

"I hope Rumple and belle can talk some sense into our son," Emma was saying to Bae downstairs.

"If anybody can, it's Papa and Mama," Bae replied. "Papa could talk a crazy person into reality."

The three children came back downstairs with foil cone shaped hats on their heads and rock pendants around their necks.

"Ummm...guys...what's with the get up?" Bae asked

"It's so the aliens can't read our minds, Bae," Rumple answered.

"What? What aliens?"

"The bad ones that cover your face with black goo and bust outta you," the small sorcerer answered. "But now we're protected!" He held up the pendants. "With magic rocks!"

He gestured and suddenly Bae and Emma were wearing pendants and foil hats.

Emma scowled at her husband. "You want to tell me when you let our son watch the X-Files?" she hissed.

"Em . . .I never let him watch it," Bae protested. "Just Henry."

"Then can you tell me how the hell he knows about the black oil!"

"Umm . . .no . . ." Bae looked flummoxed. "Killian, how did you know about the aliens, buddy?"

"Cause I saw it on that stuff you watch with Henry..."

"You what? When?" Bae cried.

"Umm...lotsa times..."

"What were you doing, hiding in the closet?" his dad frowned.

"Ummm...yeah me an Jack was huntin zombies."

Bae facepalmed himself. "Killian . . that wasn't real, buddy. It was a movie."

"How you know the governmet's not runnin 'speriments? They do buncha other bad stuff like lie and go see hookers...you said so!"

Henry's mouth dropped open. "Dad! You said that in front of Killian!"

"Umm . . .well . . ."

Rumple shook a finger at his son. "Dearie, you shouldn't say that stuff. It's not polite!"

Emma stood back with a smirk on her face, enjoying it when her husband got a scolding from his father.

"Smooth Gold, real smooth. Now our kid is a conspiracy theorist."

"Look, I didn't know he was in the room," Bae protested.

"Don't cha know how to lock doors YET, Baelfire?" Rumple demanded.

"And next time,. check!" Emma snapped.

Bae threw up his hands. "Okay! Okay!" He shook his head. "Killian, nobody's gonna do experiments on you and no aliens are going to burst out of you." He pointed to the pendants. "Not with these on." He decided it was safer to play along then to argue with the boy.

"You still have to go have those shots done so you can go to school. Don't you want to keep learning how to read and write?" Emma asked.

Killian looked up at her. "Umm . . .yeah, but Mom . . .how come I need them?"

"So you don't get sick honey."

"Did you hafta get 'em?"

"Yes...and so did your dad."

"Ummm Bae...me an Belle didn't get em."

Killian gasped. "Uh-oh! Rumple...you gotta get em or your gonna get sick!"

"Me too," Henry added.

"Is that true, Bae?" Rumple asked, alarmed. "I've got magic, can I still get things like that?"

"Uh .. . possibly," his son answered, he wasn't exactly sure how far Rumple's magical immunity to certain diseases stretched.

"You think we should go get em too Rumple?' Belle asked.

Rumple hesitated. He didn't like the thought of anyone sticking stuff in him, it reminded him too much of how Pan would pinch him and poke him with pins when he was angry and couldn't hit him in front of people cause he was running a scam..

"Uh . . .how bad are these umm . . .diseases?"

"Some can be very bad."

"Like you can die?" Belle wanted to know.

"Ummm...possibly..."

Rumple gasped. "Like when people got the black plague and they brought round carts an' called "Bring out your dead?"

"Uhhhh...maybe..." Emma mumbled.

She hated scaring the kids half to death but maybe it would make them all forget the alien nonsense.

Bae covered his mouth with his hand to keep from busting out laughing. Trust his papa to be a closet Monty Python aficionado.

"Even if you're not dead yet they still put ya on the cart, right Rumple?" Killian asked him.

"Yeah, like that old man!" agreed his buddy.

Henry almost spit out his soda he was cracking up.

"Least it's not killer rabbits an we needs the holy hand grenade."

"Yeah . . .okay, I don't wanna turn black an' get stuck on no cart half-dead, dearie," Rumple said. "So I guess we'd better get these shots too."

"I'll go if you go!"

"Deal?"

Killian shook his hand, "Deal!"

"Okay . . .looks like we're all going to the doctor's again," Bae said. "Only this time, Killian, no kicking or knocking anything over."

"I won't. Don't wanna go on the cart!"

"I'm not dead yet!" Belle and Rumple chorused.

Emma face palmed herself.

Henry was gleefully recording it all on his phone.

"All right, all the kids in the car," Bae called. It was good thing he had his new Santa Fe SUV.

Now that the children knew they weren't going to be taken over by aliens and the shots would stop them from getting sick, they were more eager to go to the doctor's office.

When they arrived, the nurse took one look at them and said, "Do I need to put on my knee pads and protective mask?"

"Nah...we know yous not an alien so I'm not gonna kick ya," Killian said.

"An I won't hit you with my cane an' break your kneecaps," Rumple put in.

"Umm . . .that's good to know, Mr. Gold," said the nurse.

She went and told the doctor about the return of Killian Gold and two other new "patients".

"Well...if they make him comfortable I could give them the shots too."

"I think that would be best, Doctor. Especially since Mr. Gold will probably make you an offer you can't refuse," the nurse laughed.

"That he would."

"Where's the doc already?' Killian demanded impatiently.

"Mr. and Mrs. Gold, and children, you can all come on back now," Nurse Nellie called.

"Finally!" Killian huffed.

They all trooped into the exam room. Emma helped Killian and Belle onto the table while Bae helped Rumple.

Dr. McStuffins came into the room. She smiled brightly at them all. "Hello, children! How nice to see all of you here!"

"You gotta give us those...shots so's we don't get sick n' die and get thrown on the cart," Killian informed her.

"Yeah, cause we're not dead yet," Rumple told her seriously.

Dr. McStuffins hid a grin. "No, and we don't want that to happen, do we?" She went and took out her stethoscope. "Now let me listen to your hearts. Make sure you're all healthy."

She listened to all their hearts and pronounced them healthy as horses. Finally, she said, "Okay, let's get you all vaccinated for school. And if you're all brave and don't bite me you'll get stickers and little stuffed animals."

"Oooh I want one!" Belle exclaimed.

"You'll get to pick out of my magic bag," the doctor assured her. Then she pulled on gloves and had Nellie bring in the tray of needles.

"I don't wanna look at em...the things they stick in ya...they're scary..." Belle sniffled.

Rumple grabbed her hand. "Is it like pins in voodoo dolls? Cuz my papa said he liked sticking pins in me to make me turn into one."

Doc McStuffins was horrified. "Goodness, no! It's not like that at all. My shots make sure you don't get sick, they don't remain in you." She turned around and muttered softly, "What in hell kind of father did that poor kid have?"

"A piss poor one," Emma whispered back.

"I'll say," the doctor muttered. "Sounds like Daddy Dearest." She took the first shot in her hand. "All right, now who's going to be my first brave volunteer?"

"Meeee!" Killian held up his hand.

He wasn't going to look at the needle but he wanted to get it over with before he did end up on the cart with the rats.

"Okay, Killian. You'll feel a small pinch and then it's done," the doctor said and she gave him the shot. "There! That wasn't so bad was it?"

"Uh-uh...c'mon guys...it really isn't bad," he said to his friends.

"Really, dearie?" Rumple asked.

"Yup."

"Okay," the small sorcerer agreed. "And after we get stickers and stuffed animals, right?"

"Yes." Doc McStuffins agreed.

Rumple looked away when she gave him the shot. But afterwards he said, "It didn't hurt like my papa's pins." He squeezed Belle's hand. "Be brave, dearie."

"I am cause you say it don't hurt an I believe you."

"So cute!" the doctor said, then she gave Belle her shot.

"Okay, and now you get to have a sticker and pick an animal from the bag," Doc McStuffins said.

She gave them all stickers that smelled lke watermelons and said "#1 Superstar" on them. Then she pulled a pink bag from a cabinet and held it out to Killian. "Go ahead. Reach inside. The bag will give you a stuffed animal."

"Okay..." he reached in and pulled out another crocodile. "Oooo cool! Lookit...I gots 'nother crocodile an I'm gonna call it Bootstrap!"

"Neat!" Rumple said. He reached inside and pulled out a blue kitty. "Aww! I'm gonna call him Jimmy." He hugged the blue cat to him.

"My turn!" Belle cried and reached in. She pulled out a brown horse "M'gonna call it Phillippe...ya know like the horse in Beauty An the Beast."

"What do you say, kids?" Bae prompted.

"Thanks, Doc McStuffins!" they chorused.

"You're welcome. Now I don't want to see you till next year." She laughed, and put the bag back in the cabinet.

"Aww ya mean you're not gonna miss us?" Killian asked batting his eyelashes.

The doctor reached out an pinched his cheek. "Of course I will, little flirt!"

He grinned.

"Maybe I'll marry you when I get big."

"Killian!" Bae groaned.

"What? She's pretty!"

"An...lotsa older women marry younger guys today, don't they?"

"Somebody shoot me!" Emma groaned.

"Not jailbait," Bae muttered under his breath.

"Do you have a daughter?" Rumple asked bluntly.

Emma wanted to crawl in a hole. "Rumple!"

"Well he can marry her daughter if she's got one,"Belle argued.

"Oh my God! It's like Fiddler on the Roof!" Bae cracked up.

"Well...you gotta daughter?' Killian inquired.

"Umm . . .I do. Her name is Beth," the doctor answered.

"How old is she?" Rumple wanted to know.

"Four," replied Doc McStuffins.

"That's a good match," Belle declared.

"Hallelujah!" Emma muttered.

"She'll be in your class at school, Killiian." Doc McStuffins said. "Have a good day now!"

"You too!" Killian called out with a smile.

He couldn't wait to go to school.

Everyone filed out of the office wearing happy grins.


End file.
